He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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