You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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