Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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