cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
