Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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