I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
