if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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