Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
