You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
