I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We are all done wearing pants today
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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