I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
