you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
