shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
