Whod you bang
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
