playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
