The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
