how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
