I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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