I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
