Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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