By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
