The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
40s are totally the cure
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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