I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
