he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
