Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
