come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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