I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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