gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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