Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
well you can't waste a boner
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
