Someone shit on the floor
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
