why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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