I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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