I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
