What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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