Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
that's an acceptable place to lick
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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