I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
