we have officially lost it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
