we have officially lost it.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
