Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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