uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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