She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
