I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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