bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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