remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
