imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
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yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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