I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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