He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
