You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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