last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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