Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize