Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I understand Curling. That high.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
