***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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