At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
