After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
