Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize