I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
high people should be assigned attendants
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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