you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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